Poison Ivy. Real Evil Bitch. (Caution: TMI but if you had a weird or bad week this will make you feel a lot better probably)

OK well I just warned you. I have a friend who had to go to the bathroom at some point during a run a week and a half ago and wiped their dumbass (no pun intended…) with poison ivy because they had never seen poison ivy before nor gotten it. It also somehow got on their arm. Said friend was just going back to work, so went back to work extremely uncomfortable, thought it was some kind of dust mites or something from cleaning- it was still new- wasn’t really sure.

Fast forward the next night- FULL fledged poison ivy on friend’s private parts and butt. Said friend still not sure but while sleeping at night scratched the shit out of it and probably spread it a whole bunch.

The next day my friend gets their period. The next day is cramp day and said friend is bloated, has poison ivy on their privates, AND their period cramps when they have to go to a photoshoot to promote a business they just became a part of. Needless to say my friend does not feel cute- but some of the pictures came out nice anyway I think.

This friend, still doesn’t really get what’s happening- runs the Whethersfield 10K on heavy flow period day and also with ass covered in poison ivy. Doesn’t do as well as they’d hoped in the race. SHOCKER.

My friend then has their spouse look at it- spouse has a meltdown- they get benadryl and calamine- it burns- it’s kind of starting to heal. Friend kicks off the first day of school with their heavy flow, and poison ivy in their privates. Now we’re partying.

Friend tries to go to gym, coach calls them an idiot, tells them they can stretch and go home and don’t sweat or it’ll spread.

Friend covered in calamine all the time- see’s a friend who’s a nurse a few days later. Nurse friend tells my friend poison ivy in your privates needs steroids because it’s a “wet crease” and will never heal.

So Friday my friend goes to the doctor- friend shows the 65 year old man her butt cheek. he says “You have a rash.”

No shit.

“Take some Aveeno anti-itch lotion.” WHY IS MY FRIEND PAYING A COPAY THEY KNOW THEY HAVE A RASH.

My friend paid a 65 year old man some stupid copay to check out her butt for no reason.

My friend made the doctor give her prednisone because she’s there and her nurse friend told her to. Waits a million years at the Walgreens, takes her alotted dose and proceeds to get FUCKED. UP.

A few minutes later my friend’s mom texts them will all the negative side effects the steroid had on her grandfather, and on her mother. Hyper, over-hungry, weird dreams, doing weird shit for no reason. My friend was also drinking a beer- got super fucked up more than usual safely on her couch and ordered takeout she didn’t want with her husband.

Talked some shit to a local restaurant because they had no vegetarian options. My friend isn’t vegetarian but wants there to be options.  She’s been on the pills ever since and luckily is noticing the hyper but also has just been having kind of weird (but not gross) sex dreams. With this issue going on two weeks my friend would have retitled this post “leaves of 3 no sex for me.”

ANYWAY. BACK TO ME.

I had a rest week. Ran 14 miles pretty fast on Saturday. Did LOTS of yoga on Sunday. I’ll write about this ASAP. Ran my 22 miler today. It was pretty good- just hot again. I ran it kind of slow but anything over 20 slow and steady is the name of the game- I was running my 22 miler at 9:30min/mile pace last year and my marathon pace was still 7:47 it’s just about chipping away at the mentality of it.

I ran the Wethersfield 10k- it was fine. I could have done a little better but I didn’t feel great, I didn’t warm up enough, and therefore wasn’t focused.  I put it in the calculators and my 10k pace puts me at a 3:04-3:10 marathon. Honestly I’m feeling a litttttttle burnt out and at this point I’m less interested in Sub 3 marathon and more into getting this shit over with so I can sit on my ass or go pick a pumpkin or something. Also focus a little more on teaching yoga.

I will say I took a vinyasa and yin class with Melissa on her opening weekend at Ignite- and she is such a good teacher. I used to go to her classes all the time. When I stopped working in New Haven and ended up in the middle of a shooting in the parking lot after Kami’s 6pm class on a Thursday I just sort of stopped going to Fresh. She can talk about all the parts of your body and also verbalize a self help book for your life.

I actually remember the first time I took her class- before I “did yoga,” I was just sort of showing up not knowing what’s going on- in 2012 (I think) and thinking: “She seems so cool- she’s smart and a good person- she uses yoga to focus her anger in a positive way. (yeah I am trying not to be an angry person) She’s only a little older than me, and I think I want to be cool like her.” The thought was clearer in my head than I can really explain- but anyway- for me- that’s why it’s so funny that things came full circle and she invited me to teach at her new studio. Then there I am with her in a promo picture- in a warrior 2 where I’m really not bending my knee enough but that’s ok I’m tight don’t hassle me.

See picture of my handy dandy running medal on my gram: jenncantsitstill

20% off all class cards at Ignite Yoga for 5 more hours- come do some yoga with me! http://www.igniteyogact.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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