Poured gas on myself, blew a snot rocket on a hot guy- caught a 2 min PR and third woman overall

I need to work on making my titles shorter. So I woke up at 4:30 AM got gas in Middletown. I was wearing my brand spanking new joggers and hoodie I just got from Athleta. This has never ever happened to me before- I lightly bumped into the gas pump and it jumped out of the gas tank and sprayed all over me all over the floor all over my new clothes and it was horrible. I put a hoodie on the joggers in the back and put a new flip-flops put different hoodie on. It did not matter the whole car smells like gasoline and so did my hands and also my dumb ass stepped on the gas puddle in clean flip-flops.

Pretty sure I was going to die of a migraine but luckily I made it through and got there nice and early. I took a beautiful picture of a sunset walk around got my bib got my short sleeve to but I will never wear because I don’t wear T-shirts. Ate my RX bar and sat in my warm car because it was 35 degrees and windy.

Warmed up and made it to the start line. In shorts and a tank top. I had a 630 pace for about 6 miles. Even beat my time for a 10K from two weeks ago in Wethersfield. It felt pretty good my stomach was turning a little but my leg still felt fresh. Something weird happens at mile seven for me every single time and a half Marathon where I think I have 5 miles left. So the first time I had 5 miles left I was feeling great when I realized I really had 5 miles left I was finally getting tired.

All miles 1-8 still went by pretty quickly. Drank a highball before the drive and let me know energy before the run. At mile eight I was running out of steam and feeling lazy. Kept holding on to sub7 min miles. Some mile between 9-11 was Watch Hill was 7:04. that was when a lady blew by me and I finally lost second place female to this woman hauling ass up the hill. It didn’t matter to me though because she was a short as I was and had huge muscles and there was no way I was feeling the urge to chase after her at the pace she was beasting it up that hill.

Goal for the half marathon was sub 1:30. So when I was running out of steam even to chase this chick I was really good about running my own race and realized is an actually matter and I would still accomplish what I wanted to. Just started to change around mile 12 were in there with another girl about a quarter-mile in back of me. Started to assess how much energy I had left I decided she wasn’t going to pass me even though I was beginning to get stomach cramps.

Mile 12 is also where I accidentally blew a snot rocket and as I did a half-turn I realized it was basically onto a very hot guy who somehow snuck up right behind me. I apologized immediately and he said “it’s ok do what you gotta do.” To be honest with you I had to clear the other nostril to but decided against it because I feel like he did not really mean what he had just said. I hope there is a craigslist missed connections ad for me “girl with tattoos who blew a snot rocket on my foot.” The inside would say “it was worth it to watch your hot butt for a mile.” Of course I wouldn’t respond to this imaginary missed connection. I’m married for Christ sake.

Anyway, after realizing that girl was behind me I began to run faster and somewhere at mile 12 1/2 someone in the crowd said “youre third but fourth is right behind you!” Picked it up and got on my toes and pretended I was running a 400 m sprint at CrossFit even though it was probably a 900-1000. Ran til stomach turned and felt like death and snagged third place female first in age group.

Headed straight for a porta potty impressed I made it the whole race. Beat 1:30 at 1:27:06 which is a 1:56 min pr from the Middletown half.

I got a yogurt and a banana tried to eat some of it but mostly just waited for awards. There is an awards for a top three were a water bottle and a the toy car. Wish Hartford half wasn’t weekend right after Chicago cause that half is so fun and that weekend is always awesome. Not sure if I want to sign up when I probably won’t be ok to run 13.2 if I leave it all in Chicago.

None of the calculators McMillan or Jack Daniels or runners world put my marathon time and a three hour marathon. I’m super comfortable with this because to be honest I had very little fun running even a half marathon at a sub seven minute mile. Even if I could manage to pull that off for 26.2 in Chicago in four weeks i’m pretty sure I would be miserable and get really sick if I did it. The best calculator puts me at 3:05, runnersworld predicts 3:15. expecting to probably crush 315 probably closer to the 305 side of things and totally comfortable with that. That’s a 7:07 minute mile and a pr- there are enough good things going on in my life where I don’t feel stuck to a whole number I picked for no reason- and just a tiny disappointed I didn’t qualify to run Boston. If I run a spring marathon at all it might be Providence for fun or Sugarloaf for time.


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